24 years ago, a child was abandoned to the cultural wastelands. Luckily, he was raised by a troupe of extremely pop culture savvy wolves who taught him everything he needed to know about the cultural jungle, from the high ground of visual art to the swampy marshes of reality TV and obscure '00s CBBC game shows.
Now, that movie-obsessed Mowgli has come to the big city to write about culture and much more. Read on as he grabs a machete and let's hack through the morass.
(For those of you not in the mood for a Jungle Book rip-off origin story, I'm a London-based freelance writer creating acclaimed, traffic-driving, SEO-friendly content in the fields of culture, travel, education and more.)